What Things I'm Tired of Hearing Women Say

Ok so lately, I’ve been expanding my horizons in the e-world (i.e. started a blog page, joined Twitter, etc.) and in some cases it has been an enjoyable experience. I’ve met a lot of interesting people and have gotten introduced to some new music and great views on the world.. I love hearing people’s opinions about life, relationships, music, sex and the like. However, I have noticed a lot of bitter men and women on some of these sites, but mostly women. I’ve read a few notes that women have posted and some of them are downright appalling, while others are so true. A couple of my favorite women in the world put together a list of things they are tired of hearing ‘men’(for the lack of a better term) say. Here is my rebuttal in the form of things I’m tired of hearing women say. Ready... Go...

"Niggas ain’t shit" - True statement and it’s cute to say when you are in high school and the first couple years of college, but once you’re pushing 30 and you are still talking that same yin yang, it’s time to get your life in order. You only get back what you put out.

"I’m a model" - No boo boo, you are not a model. You are a chick taking pictures in the mirror of your bathroom. I don’t see a comp card. Where’s your portfolio? Are you on modelmayhem? If not, miss me with all that.

"I’m independent" - BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Excuse me for laughing in your face but last time I checked, the only way you are really independent is if you own your own (business, house, car, etc.). Maybe you are talking about your political affiliation? Whole ‘nother story.

"Women are smarter than men cuz we are more slick with ours" - Hmmm... you would think your smart ass would have a man that you didn’t need to creep on. If you were so damn smart, then how about devising a plan to make your man be better in bed, like , oh I don’t know, TELLING HIM WHAT YOU LIKE. And they say men are the dumb ones...

"Women are smarter than men... PERIOD" - did I miss this memo because last time I checked, you were still depending on that man to provide something for you. Something that since you are so smart you could probably do for yourself. Lazy mf’ers...

"I got a man but he ain’t acting right" - So if he’s not acting right, why is he still your man? Stop trying to have your cake and eat it too...

"I want a boyfriend" - Well when you’re through playing on the playground, go find yourself a man. Grown ass kid...

"You look like you can eat a good pussy" - Yup, I sure can. But not yours... Miss me with that.

"I’m a Diva" - Hmmm... Are you one now because Beyonce claims she’s one? Did you know that just last year, Beyonce claimed that she wasn’t a diva? You might want to catch yourself while you’re following these walking contradictions around.

And that’s not it ladies. You have some other things you need to get right in your world.

Stop lying to this guys about their dicks - Every man out here does not have the big dick or can even hit the spot properly. Stop building these cats’ egos up because it’s not helping yours or anyone else’s cause.

Stop saying I don’t need a man one second then complaining about how you don’t have a boyfriend the next - Are you bipolar? You’re not making any sense.

Stop listening to your single girlfriend about your relationship - She’s single for a reason. You’re in a relationship for a reason.

Stop trying to hook us up with your ugly friend - If she’s cute to you however when you go out, she never gets any attention, this means you probably have your friendship goggles on.

I’m done for now but there will be a part two to this.